By: Dr. Abdul Wadud Nafis, Lc., M.E.I.
Speaking is an activity that is deeply connected to human life. Every day, we speak with our families, friends, students, santri, colleagues, and even people we have just met. However, the ability to speak does not always correspond to the ability to make others willing to listen. Many people are capable of speaking at length, yet their message fails to get through. Conversely, some people say only a few sentences but are able to leave a profound impression. Therefore, the art of speaking is not merely about how to produce words, but about how to convey a message that can reach the hearts and minds of listeners.
One of the main keys to effective communication is LISTEN, which stands for Lead with Empathy, Interpret Energy, Speak Simply, Trust Silence, Honor the Listener, and Nurture Truth. Speaking with empathy means first understanding the feelings and circumstances of the person we are communicating with. Everyone has different experiences, problems, and emotional conditions. A sentence that is appropriate for one person may not necessarily be appropriate for another. Therefore, before speaking, we need to ask ourselves: Who are we speaking to? What are they feeling? And what do they actually need?
In addition to empathy, we need to be able to read the energy within communication. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and a person’s responses often convey messages that are left unspoken. Someone who is tired certainly needs a different approach from someone who is enthusiastic. By understanding such conditions, communication becomes more humane and does not feel like a one-sided lecture.
Another equally important principle is speaking simply. A good message does not have to be delivered through complicated sentences. In fact, the clearer and simpler a message is, the easier it is to understand and remember. In many situations, we use too many introductory words, repetitions, and sentences that do not carry essential meaning. Effective communication, however, requires the courage to remove unnecessary words and go directly to the heart of the matter.
Interestingly, silence is also part of the art of speaking. Silence does not mean having nothing to say. It can provide space for someone to think, understand, and reflect on the message that has just been delivered. People who talk too much often lose the opportunity to listen. Yet, good communication is not a competition over who can speak the most; rather, it is a process of mutual understanding.
Respecting the listener is also an essential foundation. When people feel respected, they become more open to receiving a message. Therefore, speaking in a condescending, judgmental, or forceful manner can create distance. In contrast, polite language, an open attitude, and a willingness to listen can foster trust.
Ultimately, strong communication must be built upon truth and honesty. Beautiful words without sincerity can easily lose their meaning. Honesty creates trust, while trust gives a message its strength. In family life, education, leadership, and religious preaching, the ability to speak should not merely be used to impress people, but to build understanding, touch hearts, and bring about meaningful change.
Thus, a person who is good at speaking is not necessarily a good communicator. A good communicator is someone who can make listeners feel understood, respected, and trusted. The ultimate purpose of speaking is not merely to make our voices heard, but to ensure that our message is understood and brings benefit.